My Jus,
28 years ago, today, I laid in that hospital bed anxiously
awaiting your arrival. You made me wait all day until you finally came out head
first and eyes wide open. I guess you were anxious to see what was on the other
side. You were perfect. I was and still am amazed at why God would give me two such
perfect gifts, you and Quentin. You two were perfectly made just for me. It was truly one of the happiest days of my
life.
Today, as I sit and think about so much joy that day brought
me, you not being here today brings just that much pain. Never thought I would
be having this conversation with you. It was supposed to be the other way around. You
should be writing to me. But as you would say, “It is what it is.”
You told me several times that when you cried, you didn't
cry for yourself because you were ok, you cried for us. I guess you knew the
pain we would feel once you were gone. I only hope you are not crying now.
Sometimes I imagine you with wings stepping with all the
precision you had when you stepped here with us. I imagine hearing you still singing like you
used to when you were in the shower. I even go into your room some mornings,
look at your bed and wave like I used to. Only now you don’t wave back. It’s a
tough time. We made it through 2 birthdays and now trying to get through 3. So
we go on. That’s all we can do.
We miss you so much. There is such an emptiness where you
were. I have to believe that it will get better one day. At least easier.
Daddy, Quentin, and I will always love you. You brought so
much to our lives and you left so much with us.
Thank you,
Happy Birthday Justin!!!
Mommy’s Love.
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